Once upon a time when I was young and the grass ran green, I was an hour and a half late to work (my first employer) because I simply could not decide what to wear. (I literally tried on everything in my closet, and ended up leaving all the strewn clothes wherever they fell when I discarded them -- only for that to be the day my so-called landlord decided to tar the roof and then come in and fix something I had asked be fixed a year earlier!)
That was depression and stress (during the 5 years my father lost his legs in pieces, one at a time) but ever since, I've had trouble making decisions. Oh, I can make dandy decisions (and usually very good ones) for anyone but myself. I'm too terrified to make 'em for myself -- I might get stuck.
Then we decided to build a house.
My builder, the plumber, the electrician, my kitchen designer, the door supplier, the window supplier, the butcher, baker and candlestick maker all want me to make easily 100 decisions each. Today. There will be more tomorrow.
Ok, I speak hyperbolically, but it ain't too far of a stretch.
In the past two weeks, I've decided on:
- outside doors
- inside doors
- hardware for the two above
- roof shingles (color)
- decking materials for the three different "deckish" obtrusions on the house
- basic wall color
- kitchen cabinets
- future design of the basement
- skylights - how many, where and what
I had an inkling about this going in: I told Clif that this would either teach me to make decisions, or it would break me. So far, I'm making the decisions. I attribute this to all the sleep I'm getting now that I wasn't getting before.
Thursday I also have to start addressing fireplaces, wood burning stoves, kitchen floor, bathroom and kitchen tiling.
Problem: I can't decide what color to make my kitchen. Husband vetoed green. He didn't think it would make food look too appetizing, and I agreed. Now I'm leaning towards yellow on white. Whatcha all think?
Yeah, yeah. I know. My decision.